Time is growing near to my departure date for Kenya. Many of you know I’m headed there in late June – but for those who don’t here’s the scoop:

My Mom’s friend Ben grew up in Yimbo, a small village in Kenya. One of (I believe) six children his parents prioritized education – his father oversaw the building of the village’s primary school. All of his siblings are highly educated, successful people who live all over the world. From a young age Ben understood the power that education brings. One of his goals was to provide the same kind of tools that his parents sought for him to the others in his home village. He, along with his brother started a non-profit called Friends of Yimbo. You can read all about them on their site here.

Last year, after two years of hard work, dedication and fundraising a library was built in the village school. Ben and his brother Charles, along with a group of volunteers (including my parents) went to Yimbo to dedicate the library and fill it with books. I worked as a volunteer for those two years off and on, helping to get the non-profit set up, drafting documents, and cheerleading. The students, and the rest of the village, could not contain their excitement and pride for the new library. Ben and team met with the village elders to assess plans for future help and support.

This year I’ve been invited to go on the humanitarian trip. I’m excited and just a tad nervous. Mostly nervous because I’m a picky eater and don’t want to offend – and because I am fundraising for it and that’s not always comfy for me.

Many of you are hitting my site after receiving an email from me about the trip. Some of you won’t get an email since I don’t have an address. I’ve set a goal of $1500 – all of it going to the all-volunteer Friends of Yimbo. I have no doubt I can hit it!

So, if you are inclined to donate I’d greatly appreciate it. You can find more information about donating HERE.

Of course I’ll be blogging about my trip – and all the adventures I have gearing up for it!

I do hope you’re a blog reader. If not, I have the slightest impression that somehow you’ll get this.

Right now my timer is ticking – counting down the minutes until I have to change the laundry. Listening to it, accompanied by the sounds of night falling outside, reminds me of how funny you are. How easily you manipulate time.

My SIL just had a baby – a gorgeous red-headed boy who’s pending arrival announcement still sits on my fridge even though he arrived two months ago. Another SIL is due in a few months. As we countdown to her baby’s arrival we count up the days that the boy has been on this earth. And time moves at such different speeds for each of those women. One counting the days until she meets her little girl – the other counting the days and milestones as her little boy grows. Some days, the same days, fast for one and slow for the other.

It’s strange how you do that. How you manage to allow my time at work to move so slowly, but fast-forward the time with my boys so quickly. The difference between how a morning moves depending on how you move the world Father Time.

It’s Friday. It’s nighttime. Both of my children are in bed. One couldn’t wait to let sleep take him. The other curled up with a book. When did that happen Father Time? When did he learn to read so many words – so much so that he now has a huge world opened to him. One that is currently taking him to Stuart Little’s house but will soon take him to Narnia, Oz, and more…

Quite frankly I want to be mad at you. I want to hate you for moving time so quickly that I’m missing things. But then I remember (and am grateful for) the times you move slowly. College nights with friends I loved. Days by the lake that lasted an eternity. The nights when my fatigue didn’t get me and I rocked my babies into the early morning. The times when I look at Eric and see forever. And the times when you move quickly so as to comfort – so that pain or grief or trial does not last long.

I guess in the end I’m not mad. Just a little sad. Sad that time doesn’t get controlled by me. That I can’t start and stop bits and pieces of my life. Perhaps if I could I’d update my blog more…or perhaps not.

And as if to mark the end of my post my timer has sounded it’s alarm. A new task, a new adventure, a new something must begin. Thank you for doing your job and for letting me have moments like this to value the gifts you give.

Love,
Shelly

PS: For those who do read this, I am sorry I’ve been gone. Eric has done some posting which is great. Life is just moving. Those of you who know me know what life’s details are – and those of you who don’t will probably find out on here over time. For a glimpse you can read what Tasha wrote here and here. What a blessing she has been for me and my kids…

We spent the evening at a little lodge in San Simeon. The boys enjoyed hopping from our room to Papa and KK’s. They really enjoyed watching the Olympics cuddled up with Mom and Dad. Before they went to bed.

Next morning we walked down to the pebble beach to relax, explore, and watch the waves. We had a great time, the trip was exactly what all our little souls needed. I wonder where the next adventure will take us.

Pictures after the break:

Now off to edit the video from the trip…

This morning I rose before everyone else. I wandered through the house. Put a blanket on Eric who had slept in the room with the boys. Tucked the boys back into their bedding, away from the cool morning air. Grabbed my robe and latest book and retreated to the couch.

In most ways this morning is no different than any other one. Tomorrow morning however will be the start of something new. A new out-of-the-home job for me – with hours early in the morning away from the boys.

Will paddled out first this morning. Saw me in the kitchen and ran to get up into my arms.
We cuddled on the couch and I started getting a little teary. He asked if they were “tears of love” which is usually what I tell him. This morning I was honest and said, no these tears were of sadness because I’ll miss my morning time with him. He curled right up to me and said “It’s not a big deal Mom.”

He is right. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have the time with the boys that I do. I get to make a choice. I recognize the value, and cost, of me staying home with the kids…and the value and cost lost of me not working. So this new opportunity is perfect. It allows me to meet some of our family goals with little strain on the boys.

And yet, Will’s wrong. Not because giving up my mornings is a big deal. That’s not it. It’s recognizing that the boys are growing up. They are at a place where who they are with during the day doesn’t matter as much as it used to. Most of their basic needs, food, toilet, sleep – are things they can provide for themselves.

I’m not trying to devalue myself – or make it seem like they are past the point of mothering. Rather that as a mom one of the strangest parts of my jobs is that it is constantly evolving. Each new development and phase for them requires a new job description and skill set from me. And this new phase for me also marks a new phase for them. A more independent one.

Oh. I’m going to miss my mornings. What they are. What they signify.

But…for now…for this moment I am going to turn off the computer and tune into my son who just asked me to come play and qualified his request with “…because Mom, playing with me is your favorite thing in the world.”

Yes it is.

(cross posted on my personal blog)

It was lumpy.

Then I made cinnamon pecan pockets.

They didn’t hold.

Then I made banana bread muffins.

They’re good…but not great…and they look funny.
(I didn’t take a picture!)

Eric came into the kitchen, wondering if I was ok after watching me dump things into the trash.

I told him yes I was. Because a few weeks ago I made lemon cupcakes with raspberry cream cheese filling. And they were amazing. Like we could eat the entire batch in five minutes (we didn’t). Not just that – but the frosting I’ve been striving to master, I did.

So three less-than-perfect attempts mean nothing against what I know can be possible:

As I mentioned earlier Walker and I had quite the adventure last weekend! Our very first NASCAR race!

The local library had given free race tickets to those who had participated in the Summer Reading Program – and we were thrilled for a new and free experience!

The race was held at the Auto Club Speedway in Fontana – which also happens to be where my Grandpa celebrated his birthday one year by riding in a stock car! This led for some funny moments when Walker kept telling people “This is where Grandpa Bob died!”…um…no.

We had a blast – especially hanging out with my friends. Lisa and J rode out with us and we met Tasha and Brian and their kids, T, B, and C.

Who’s car is going to be number one? We all picked cars- and then J (the kid with the awesome tux shirt) kept changing his pick base on who was actually number one at the moment!

The grandstand during the National Anthem.

The teams (crews?) lined up.

The start of the race…it was pretty loud even with ear plugs!

A yellow flag lap – a good chance to check out the cars with J & T are doing here.

Walks spent the first half of the race with his hands over his ears – even when he was crawling through benches!

The pit stops were fun to watch!

#61 was my official car pick! It was a visual clunker but did ok during the race!

Walker finally opted to have ME plug his ears. Mostly so he could eat…

The only fight we saw break out was between T and Walker…darn…

T’s car was either #2 or #1 for most of the race – until it got unfairly bumped in the last lap. T was pretty excited about his pick!

No event is complete without the Goodyear blimp!

Tasha and B. Tasha can totally work those ear plugs!

150 laps got a little boring…so B laid down.

Tasha’s little boy C with Lisa – he was quite a trooper!

The one crash we kind of sort of got to see. We all felt pretty bad that we were “hoping” for a crash.

Everyone lined up after the race.

Walker and J with the winner’s ceremony in the background.

Perhaps it the song – perhaps it something else…but today I’ve been constantly smiling at various things and thinking “what a good day”.

Today the goodness included:

* a drive in the car to the store BY MYSELF. I rolled the windows down, turned off NPR and turned up my Electric 80’s cd. My hair blew in the wind…my voice cracked…and I felt wonderfully my age.

* triumphant purchasing at the store which involved $13, four boxes of cereal for E, and this loot for the future:

* coming to the conclusion that I am ready to try a slow living month (part of why I let myself stock up for next month). More on that later…but it involves less spending, more bike riding, less gas, and more time enjoying life.

* a written hand note from my 5 year-old. Out of the blue.

* two boys getting flu shots with no tears. The youngest even went first.

* turning light-up knitting needles that I got for a buck from the craft store into lightsabers/magic wands. At least until someone pokes their eye out.

* lots of time to think while working on random, self-created projects.

* having my four year-old say “Mom, I’m going to put my lightsaber in my pants like the gay guy on Star Wars”. He meant GRAY. But hearing him say that did much for my non-Star Wars soul…

* listening to my kids sing the days of the week ala the chorus of I’ve Gotta Feeling.

* getting moments to touchbase with my Mom, Dad, Grandma, MIL, and SIL. TJ, you’re next.

* folding laundry which included this stack. Realizing that in the midst of potty training I never thought we’d make it to this point.

* dinosaur floor play. I was T-Rex. Walks was Brachiosaurus. An entire hour.

* chatting with other parents at school and realizing how much I love the people I’m meeting.

* dinner with all four of us. Simple left-overs with good conversation.

* baking bread and blogging at eleven o’clock at night while still groovin’ to music

* waiting for Eric to come back from his 10k run. Nation, Eric and I are runners.

Not every day is like this. Or rather, I don’t notice it most days. I’m glad I noticed it today…I guess I had a feeling…

In the meantime I wanted to share something that really touched me. I “met” Liz through the online gluten-free world. She’s the co-contributor to Kill.The.Gluten and I’ve sent some recipes their way, and used their site quite a bit.

I started following her other, personal, blog a while ago and find such comfort in much of what she writes. Sometimes, like in THIS post, it is like she reads my mind and then manages to eloquently write about it.

I had to share it with you. More on us later.

(*I am learning that even though I am so routine oriented I CAN be flexible!!)