Adventures in Bennionland

It was so nice yesterday to cuddle up with Walker and enjoy his rest time. When he was struggling to find sleep again this afternoon I thought, ‘Why not?’ and cuddled him back up.

Why not, right? I mean, three year-olds are known for their consistency – right?

I wrapped him up and started combing his hair. After about five minutes he started telling me a story. I figured the combing wasn’t working so I stepped up my game – rubbing his back. Nope. About five minutes into that I brought out the big gun – rubbing the edge of his blanket around his face in slow, rhythmic circles. Nope.

Then he rolled over and looked me.

“I love you Mom. You’re my best girl.”
Plants a kiss on my cheek.
“Oh, I love you too Walks.”
“I love you too Mom. You’re my favorite.”
He leans over to kiss my other cheek.
“Awww…thanks Walker.”
“I’m going to kiss your arm.”
“Ok.”
He plants a kiss on my elbow.
“I love your arm Mom.”
“Thanks Walker.”
“You’re my favorite Mom.”
“Thanks Walker.”
“I’m going to kiss your foot Mom.”
“Um, no. That’s ok Walks. But thanks.”
“No Mom. I’m gonna kiss your foot.”
“Ok. Then cuddle up.”
Sits up, climbs to the end of the bed and kisses my foot.
“You’re my favorite mom Mom.”
“Uh huh.” (I’m trying not to fall asleep)
Walker is still sitting at the end of the bed looking at my foot, particularly my chipped nail polish.
“Mom, when William and I take you to the Doctor for your foot you need to be brave.”
“Um, ok.”
“And they might need to take your foot off but I’ll hold it on for you.”
“Oh. Well that might hurt.”
“Be brave Mom. Like William and I are when we are at the Doctor’s.”
“Ok.”
“And Mom?”
“Yes Walks?”
“When you die and go to heaven, I can get a new mommy right?”

There are so many posts to write. Decorating for Christmas – baking Thanksgiving gluten-free pies – Citrus Grove hikes – new preschool classes. So much to say. And yet, so much more to do.

And I love it because I’m living more in the moment than I usually do.

So I’m stealing moments of time. Like the one I just left where I made a tent out of a blanket and my body and curled up next to Walker. Naptime came faster than ever and I felt myself drifting – not to sleep – but into his small, warm body. Smelling his hair which always smells like shampoo and syrup. I spent twenty minutes just listening to him breathe – a treat I loved when he was tiny.

Or yesterday when I let Will tell me his ENTIRE story without stopping him, pausing him, or doing something. I just stared deep into those dark brown eyes. It was full of fans, ‘conveytor’ belts, the guys he works with, his sisters, and me. It went on and on and instead of feeling anxious by each new detail I gave him my full, undivided attention. One of these days he won’t want to tell me his stories. And most days I don’t take the time to hear him and so it makes it easy to forget that he is mesmerizing.

So sometimes it seems like a crime to hop on the computer and blog. Even though I want to write my stories and share them with you.

Could you all just come to my house? I’ll put the pictures on the TV, turn up the music, and we’ll laugh and drink hot cocoa.

Or maybe, you could steal your own moment with the boys and then you’d understand where I’ve been…